Div 2: Collingbourne 1st XI V Urchfont - May 5 2007

Collingbourne arrived in the village to find that Urchfont was having its annual Scarecrow Festival, so many hideously deformed creatures, dressed in ridiculous clothes, stuffed with waste and sagging round the middle spent the slow drive through the village looking at all the scarecrows.

Arriving at the idyllic ground, the boys got together to discuss Friday's drinking and the morning's hangover, all with a strange whining in the ears which turned out to be 5 or 6 bagpipers on a weekend seminar and residential course at the Manor House opposite (I kid you not).

Looking at the pitch it was clear that it had been well looked after and in fact it looked an absolute belter.

Skipper Owen Sheppard had no hesitation (after asking Matt 'Too Fat' McCann's opinion who said: "Bat first and then bat second") in choosing to bat when he won the toss.

Openers Graeme Chandler and James Grant got Collingbourne off to a steady start, as Bateman bowled with discipline from the top end and Bottomley bowled his one over from the bottom end while Urchfont waited for their West Indian opening bowler Williams to warm up after he had arrived late. No rush.

With the score on 20-0 after 4.5 overs Granty got a little rush of blood to give Bateman a fairly early breakthrough.

This brought McCann to the crease, on a scintillating run of form with the bat, (on the back of two consecutive ducks).

His team mates, who had seen his frankly appalling net the previous evening, had run a sweepstake on the number of balls he would face before returning to the pavilion for a sit down.

The most optimistic of his team mates gave him 7 balls. Fortunately they were wrong as he and Chandler went about compiling a big, big partnership.

Both played good solid innings keeping up a run rate of about a run a ball. McCann rode his luck a little, but Chandler gave a chanceless display, right up until at 158-1 he firmly hit a ball from Wood straight to short cover, with Williams taking a sharp head high catch.

His innings of 84 off 91 balls was a very nice way to start off the season, and the 138-run partnership with McCann set the foundation for the middle order to really go on to a big total.

McCann perished soon after for 61 off 67, playing all round a straight one that skidded through a touch, but at 163-3 with new boy John 'Chewy' Wookey and Owen 'Steamer' Sheppard, at the crease and with 19 overs left, a really big score near 300 looked a possibility.

As so often happens after a big partnership, the incoming batsmen think they should continue to score quickly, and don't give themselves time to settle, so no one else really got going.

A couple of little cameos, (Tom Pike with a rapid 14, and Ben Doherty with a few lusty blows), got Collingbourne up to 235, but not seeing them through all 45 overs, which on this track was a travesty.

The spinners Wood and Ryalls bowled 24 overs between them, taking 7-128, (Woods with a creditable return of 5-58), but both causing problems when they got the ball to turn in the right areas.

Over the fabulous tea (thank you ladies), the consensus of opinion was that the visitors were about 30 runs short of a par score, and on this massive oval with a lightning quick outfield, this was going to be a tough total to defend.

The bagpipes had thankfully stopped by the time Collingbourne took the field, (not sure why but some claim shots were heard, followed by a sheepish Karl Rogers emerging from the woods).

Opening bowlers Geoff Rogers and Matt Nichols got Collingbourne underway, and in the very first over Rogers had Walmsley caught at point by Richard 'Legsa' Kimber, with a great catch diving forward, always the hardest catch to take.

Matt Nichols bowled a good line and at a brisk rate, and considering he had not played at all since last August bowled really well in his opening spell.

Rogers was struggling after a winter in the Alps, and was obviously finding it difficult to do anything without skis on and was erratic and expensive.

Nichols took the wicket of No. 3 Parker with a fast full toss at a critical time, as both he and opener Cupid (yes I know......) were looking strong and haring along ahead of the rate.

On came habitual hypochondriac Tom 'Pikey' Pike, who was milking a back strain for all it was worth as his girlfriend was watching, and he wanted a rub-down later.

Fortunately this injury did not stop him bowling with his usual pace and accuracy, immediately getting the ball to swing significantly where no one else had.

Cupid was batting with the usual West Indian flair, and was starting to look really dangerous, and even charged Pikey in an attempt to smear him away after some encouragement from his friend watching to "pay him no respect".

This proved his undoing as Pikey had the next 3 balls all develop chances. The first actually hit the stumps without removing the bails, the second was a fine edge off an optimistic pull shot put down by keeper Malcolm 'Foghorn' Chandler, and finally got one to hold a touch spooning off a leading edge up to McCann at short cover, who pocketed the simple chance.

This was the key wicket for Collingbourne and the relief that Cupid did not go on was tangible in the fielding side.

So from being 30 runs short with the bat Collingbourne were now looking favourites with Urchfont at 68-3 after only 9 overs.

The need for Urchfont to keep up with the rate meant that wickets fell at regular intervals, and at 108-6, and then 155-9 and needing more than 6 runs an over Urchfont looked dead and buried.

It is to their great credit that opening bowler Williams (40*), and wily veteran Wylie, took it upon themselves to have a real go at the total putting on 75 runs and coming up only 6 runs short of the unlikeliest of victories.

Collingbourne's bowling at the death was patchy at best, and even giving Pikey 13 overs (4-68)by mistake didn't help matters.

The lack of any front-line spinner and Steamer's understandable reluctance to turn to any part-time spinners in the pressure situation may have cost Collingbourne the game, and is an area they will need to work on this season, along with some of the fielding.

But Collingbourne finished victorious, and with far more positives to take away from the game than negatives, and with 21 points safely in the bank.

One of the big negatives was purely accidental however, when Richie Kimber went over nastily in the outfield, injuring his knee.

This was a real shame for Legsa, as he had a real chance of cementing his place in the 1sts, and was in the middle of a quality spell of bowling at the time.

Urchfont are new to Division 2, and should certainly win more games than they lose. They are a genuinely friendly and competitive team, with a lovely ground that is a joy to visit, and they serve spanking teas which help make the match fees seem ridiculously good value.

Here's hoping they do well this season (but not too well!).

Match overview

• Collingbourne - 235 all out from 43.2 overs
  
• Graeme Chandler 84, Matt McCann 61, Julian Wood 5-58
  
  Urchfont
  
  
• 230 all out from 44.5 overs
  
  Wade Williams 40*